A Day In The Life Of Ian

by Alicia Hamilton
(Reno, NV)

I watch him as he watches the world around him

and often wonder what he sees.
If the world could see him the way that I do
their amazement, like mine, would not cease.

A Day In The Life Of Ian

I don't know why I'm different
But I know that I'm not the same.
I want them to like me, I want to fit in
But I don't seem to act the right way.

The rules keep on changing, it makes me so mad.
Are they picking on me or are they just playing?
I can't make it out so I just walk away
My fears are stronger
Than the reasons for staying.

Over and over I hear the adults remind me
I must try to be good and obey.
If I don't understand the rules you make up
How can you expect me to play?

I was trying to sit still in my hard plastic chair
But my socks started itching my feet.
And the lights are all buzzing,
Someone's perfume too strong.
Now my butt just won't stay in the seat.

As I try to hold still my body rebels
And my breathing starts going too fast.
I want to be good like the other kids are
But I don't think I'm going to last.

The tension is growing, my world is now humming.
I put my head down and cover my ears.
I'm 8 years old now and I want so bad to belong.
I'm afraid that they'll all see my tears.

Now my teacher is angry at me again
Though I'm trying so hard to be good.
The kids are all laughing as I start to cry.
Don't you think I would stop if I could?

I want you to know me. I want you to like me.
And love me for all that I am.
I want to belong in the world I was born in.
I just am not sure that I can.

Written for the most wonderful son a mother could ever hope to have. I love you Ian for everything you are.

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Autism Poems.