by Jessica Napoli
(Maybrook, NY)

Azaria My Autistic Angel

Azaria My Autistic Angel

You hold out your hand to me

You have that look in your eyes
I wish I could understand you
But it takes so many tries
I know that you're frustrated
You wish that you could say
Everything thats bothering you
But you can't find the way

I understand why you're angry
I'd be angry too
It must be so hard
With no one to understand you.
I try to remember "simple's best"
When I talk to you
I try to keep my words short
So you don't get confused
I try to show you pictures
In case you can't find the words
No matter how you communicate
You will always be heard

I may not understand you
But you'll always have my hand
To help you and to guide you
Through things you don't understand
I wish the world could see you
For who you really are
You're not your diagnosis
You're my little star...

People judge you 'cuz you're special
'Cuz you have your little fits
'Cuz you don't like certain textures
Cuz you can't deal with it
I wonder how it makes them feel
To judge a child so young?

How can they blame your problems on you?
Do they think you're like this for fun?
Yes, you hurt yourself cuz it feels good
You scream and have a fit
You bang your head on the wall,
You're just having fun with it...
Maybe that's the way they think
But they're just all naive
Exiled by the community
They all want you to leave

They've called you names of evil
For being the way you are
They say that you're the devil
Those names aren't going far
Baby, you're not evil
You're not doing anything wrong
You adjust to what you can
And we keep going on.

What you are is Autistic
You're a special little girl
For God loved you so much
He gave you your own little world
The one you withdraw to
When life's getting to be too much
When you feel you need a time out
When you can't handle a certain touch

And though you're in that world
Most the day and night
Sometimes I see a flicker
It's the real you trying to fight
Trying to come out and see me
Trying to show you care
But don't worry about that baby
I know the real you is there

God has granted me patience
I asked for it in prayer
I look past the shell of you
I look past your lost stare
One day you will greet me
And say "mom, i've been inside...
I know you never gave up on me,
But that is no surprise...

For God has told me many times
That you would be the one,
Who never gave up hope for me
And would fight until the fight was done."

Until that day comes around,
I'll be right with you
One day you'll open your eyes
To a world that is brand new...
I Love You!!!!

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