The most unexpected things can hurt.
A package of 2T undies, while I buy diapers with no end in sight.
A little girl saying, “Haylee, come here,” to her sister.
Daddy wiping her chin because she’s so focused
on the games; not swallowing.
Cheerleaders and basketball players. Will she have the choice?
A chewy tube. Leg braces.
Stares at church as she bites my hair.
A three year old with a binky?
Questions flood my head.
I can’t focus on anything but the uncertainty.
Will she…Ever learn to sleep,
Fall in love,
Talk? Say, “Mama?”
Get out of diapers,
Stop falling down,
Will I…Have patience at 3 a.m.,
Continue to believe in God,
Ever stop wondering why?
Stop counting on others and start counting on myself,
Be a grandma someday,
Be able to handles stares, questions, accusations,
Be her soldier,
Be worthy of her.
Can we… Stay in love
(80% of parents of autistic children end up in divorce),
Not place blame on each other,
Continue to laugh,
Be proud of her as she is.