Resentment: Understanding The
Diagnosis And Getting Help

The article Understanding The Diagnosis And Getting Help offers a general overview of circumstances that parents and caregivers raising an autistic child may face, and suggests practical ways on how to manage them better.

Understanding The Diagnosis And Getting Help


Resentment is an ever-present emotion in families affected by disabilities. Unfortunately, it usually festers away in private, only surfacing when an argument crosses the line of civility. It's hard not to feel resentment when this diagnosis can take so much away from your life: free time, undisturbed sleep, quiet mealtimes, the ability to go places with your old friends and their "normal" children, community approval, financial security ... the list goes on.

My husband has had to put off finishing school and finding a career in order to stay with my son during the day. He feels some resentment towards that, but now we have the common goal of our son to keep us warm.
--Shayna, mother of three-year-old Max (diagnosed multisystem developmental disorder)

Resentment is the result of feeling like you're not getting a fair shake, so it's important that any suffering that's being done for the child's sake is validated by other family members. No one should feel like a silent martyr (and with any luck, no one will act like one either).

Siblings may harbor more resentment toward their disabled sister or brother than they're willing to admit. We'll discuss this in the "Siblings" section later in this article.

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Understanding The Diagnosis And Getting Help is an excerpt from Chapter 10 of Autistic Spectrum Disorders: Understanding the Diagnosis and Getting Help by Mitzi Waltz, copyright 2002 by O'Reilly & Associates, Inc. For book orders/information, call (800) 998-9938.

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