by Laurie Juarez
Sometimes Autism overwhelms us,
Washes over us, nearly drowns us.
Frigid fingers cling to us
Pulling us down into its black depths.
We flounder and try to reach the surface.
The depth is too dark, too deep,
The current too strong.
We are so deep sometimes, our soul near shattering,
That we swear there is no light above.
We are frantic and weak.
Sometimes we tread still waters and dream of what could be.
A little blue eyed girl who ask for what she wants,
Doesn’t run away, says our names.
We meditate on staying afloat.
We pray for strength.
We try to accept.
We do not sink with despair.
We wait for change.
Sometimes we reach the shore.
We bask in the love of our daughter.
Her climbing, hugging, silly ways.
We celebrate what we have with no thought to what is missing.
We laugh and love.
Autism ebbs and flows.
It can dominate and defeat.
It can focus and clarify.
Autism teaches us what matters and
What we will forget about next week.
We will not let Autism drown us with despair.
We will celebrate the sunsets as often as we can.